Where am I holding onto unrealistic expectations?
Be real. Are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself these days?
The holiday season has a way of amplifying it, doesn’t it?
As n’betweeners, we tend to love getting things right, so we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves (and sometimes don’t even realize it?!!!)
Pressure builds when we cling to fixed ideas of how things should be.
Convinced that we know how life should look like.
When we grip life with a clenched fist — how we should feel, how others should show up, how the season should look — tension creeps in. Our bodies tighten. Our perspective narrows. And instead of feeling more connected, we end up stressed, disconnected, and overwhelmed.
And when reality doesn’t meet those tightly held expectations?
Stress takes over.
You might be feeling some of that holiday stress right now.
Stress is what happens in the gap between what we hoped for and what’s actually happening.
It’s that sense of frustration and disappointment when reality doesn’t align with the story we’ve built in our minds.
We tell ourselves we must:
Enjoy every moment with loved ones
Be fully present and happy
Push through, even when it’s hard
Relax “the right way.”
These expectations can feel invisible — until suddenly they’re heavy.
There is a way to move through this
And it doesn’t require fixing yourself.
It begins with softening. With humbling ourselves enough to admit: we don’t always know how things are supposed to go.
When we hold on too tightly, there’s no room for self-kindness or flexibility.
Pause for a moment.
Notice your body as you read this.
Then gently ask yourself:
Where am I holding onto unrealistic expectations?
What am I trying to prove or live up to?
What would it feel like to loosen my grip — even just a little?
Take a slow breath. Imagine unclenching your fist. Let yourself release the need for perfection or control.
Stress eases when we meet ourselves where we are and adjust our high expectations to what’s kind and realistic in this moment.
Maybe that means simplifying your plans. Maybe it means letting something be “good enough.” Often, it’s a small internal shift that creates real relief.
You can release your grip. Trust that a new and unexpected path may unfold, bringing surprises you never imagined.
Let this be a season of a little more ease, one gentle step at a time
Sending you a hug,
Nora